Hello! I teased this post in February but of course fell off track a little with writing (whoops). Except the fall off with writing correlates to this month’s post so it all works I guess. This post will recap my reset at the beginning of the year and go through what I focused on, what I learned and what I’m taking away from it.
At the beginning of the year, I had been feeling a little lost, which I talked about in my last post about being sad and overwhelmed. I wanted to feel back to myself, productive and optimistic. To do that, I needed a reset. For so long my only goal was moving to New York City and now that I’m here, I have been feeling unsure of what’s next.
To begin to figure out the daunting task of “next,” I went back to the basics. I started doing what I know makes me feel good and got super clear on my priorities. Most importantly, I needed to get back into my routines and mentally prepare for a busy few months at work.
At the same time, I needed to start training for the half marathon I decided to run in April and I wanted to start The Artist’s Way workbook. Those were my three priorities: work, running and the workbook. I knew my workload would lesson in March, so I gave myself a March 1 deadline, maybe deadline isn’t the right word – I knew I wouldn’t complete The Artists Way or the half marathon by March 1, but I knew I would be heads down and focused on my goals leading up to March 1. When March began, I would be in a totally different spot from where I started on January 1 so I’d be able to reassess then.
Before I get any further, I’ll explain what The Artists Way is for anyone curious. The Artists Way is by Julia Cameron and it’s a 12 week program designed to be “a spiritual path to higher creativity.” It was one of the best books I have read/worked in ever – one million percent recommend. Each week there are tasks that range from gratitude lists to affirmations to creative writing and each week you complete an “Artist Date” to nurture your inner creative. On top of these tasks, every day you do morning pages where you free write three full pages in a journal or notebook and it helps you ground yourself, clear your head and process emotions/events. It’s a lot of work but absolutely worth it.
For each of those days from January 10 (I’m guessing) through February, I practiced consistency. I woke up at 5:30 every day, did my morning pages, ran or cross-trained, worked, read and went to bed early. And unsurprisingly, I felt great. The reset didn’t give me a lot of time to socialize or go out, but that was also intentional. It was necessary for me to spend time with myself recentering and recharging.
I think the overarching theme for what I learned, was how much power we all have within ourselves when we learn how to channel our energy. The combination of the workbook, running and just spending so much time alone required me to dig deep within myself and commit to the work in front of me. A lot of what The Artist’s Way teaches through the morning pages and weekly tasks is that when we don’t “feel” like doing something, it doesn’t mean we can’t still do it.
Additionally, a lot of times we don’t feel like doing something because there’s a subconscious belief at work, convincing us we shouldn’t or can’t do whatever it is because if we do it, we have to face what we’ve been avoiding – aka doing the work!!
The more we do things that push us out of our comfort zone and the more we stay true to the promises we make to ourselves, even little ones, the more we strengthen our confidence. Not confidence in the traditional way we may think about it, but our inner, quiet and calm confidence that helps us show up for ourselves and our lives every single day.
I’m walking away from this experience with a deep inner knowing that everything I need, I can find within myself. I grew up thinking I needed all these outside things to make me happy and now, because of the work I’ve done and continue to do, I realize it’s all me. Before I lose you and this gets weirdly deep and sentimental – I’m walking away from this experience a calmer and happier person, because I learned how to channel my energy (kind of lying – it’s a practice I’m not always good at it).
When March 1 came around, I was eager to socialize again and “re-enter” the world. I had so much fun during March – and April – hence why I haven’t posted since February. I still have a hard time finding balance. I find it easy to commit to a strict schedule like I did for my reset, and easy to get caught up in saying “yes” to any and all plans. I still struggle finding that sweet spot where I don’t end up overwhelmed and depleted but I feel like I’m allowing myself to experience my life differently than I’ve ever allowed myself to before – and that is the point of this work. Life is to be enjoyed not endured (thank you Tara Schuster)!!
Also – I didn’t run the half marathon because tragically you cannot run 10 miles after missing a few runs (thank you March) without hurting your entire body – who would’ve guessed!! Only mad I braced the January negative temps for morning runs to not have a race to show for it. But there will always be more races hehe